day 11: triggers

Sharing every day with the Capture Your Grief photo project has been a bit more difficult than I imagined for many reasons, so I have fallen behind. I had set aside a couple hours tonight to pick it back up under the topic of "Triggers," but recent developments have triggered something else inside me and have made me change what I had originally planned to share.

Hundreds of parents around the world have taken part in this month's Capture Your Grief project under the wonderful organization of Carly Marie. Many have shared their brave hearts on the project's event page on Facebook.

Within the last 24 hours, Facebook has removed the Capture Your Grief event. All the sharing and healing has been disposed of as "inappropriate" material. I have heard others have had their pictures of their own precious children removed from their personal pages because someone has reported them as graphic materials to Facebook.

I knew in the back of my mind that it was possible, but I had hoped it would not happen, that some of the so-called "trolls" who like to hide behind their computers and stir things up would say ugly things to some of the grieving parents. Sadly, some of the most hurtful comments have come from people they know. Several people stopped their projects midway through the month because they were getting pressured by family and friends to "get over it" or hide their hurt away.

I guess you could say that this is the type of behavior that "triggers" my anger. This is exactly why I was passionate about this project in the first place. This type of attitude toward baby loss is why so many parents are suffering horribly in silence.

I understand that death is a subject that many people are uncomfortable with. Yet, I find it incredibly ironic that this social networking site that is swimming with extremely graphic Halloween photos this month would be up in arms about a worldwide event meant to honor sweet children who have passed away.

It has been such a blessing to me, personally, to read so many love stories from around the world from fellow grieving parents through the Capture Your Grief project. I believe the project has been doing what it had set out to do, which is to raise awareness and provide comfort during October's Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Beauty, courage and love manifest themselves in many different forms. Life with {and without} my special daughter Ava Faith has helped me to recognize each of these in a way I would have never known. Some people get this. Some people don't. Someone in some Facebook cubicle who likely made this judgement call does not understand the beauty, courage and love represented in this picture and countless others that were shared this month.

But, some people do understand and are forever changed.

{UPDATE: The organizer of the worldwide Capture Your Grief event, Carly Marie, released this video to explain the reasons behind the removal of the Facebook group. It turns out I may have been a bit "trigger-happy" as I wrote this post on "triggers."}