Mother of Three!

{Photo by Marilena Soares, Fabulous Design +Architecture}

We are thrilled {and quite tardy} in announcing the safe arrival of a baby daughter. Baby K was born a couple weeks early and surprised us all on the scales at 9 pounds, 11 ounces.

Ten months later, she is a beautiful, 24-pound source of absolute joy and excessive laundry. She is our lovely rainbow girl: a special child born 18 months after the tragic passing of her beautiful big sister Ava Faith.

{Photo by Violet & Blue Photography} 

I didn't write one peep about my pregnancy with her on this blog. Needless to say, my pregnancy with her was a ferris wheel of emotion. It required a large majority of my physical, emotional and spiritual strength, leaving not much room for extracurricular energy spent outside of my family life. I prioritized any writing time to fill a journal that helped me connect to her in utero and work through my anxieties.

I have very much appreciated the e-mails that I have gotten from people who enjoy the content on this site. I also hold dear the encouraging words about my writing and how it has been missed by some.

Being silent was necessary at times during the ups and downs of the past two years. However, it has become something I regularly beat myself up about. I have made a priority of posting the monthly event calendars on saskmom.com, and that is about it. Compared to the daily writing I used to do, this has seemed inferior to me.

{Photo by Violet & Blue Photography}

The procrastinating perfectionist in me has been putting off writing a new blog entry until I could figure out how to best segue from my last post into where I am today, or until I get a more consistent schedule going with the kids, or until I could make sure I could keep up a steady stream of blogs, or until I could find that perfect time of my day that could become a consistent space for writing.

If I wait for the stars to align, I will continue to be stuck in my tracks and unsatisfied with the results. I have noticed that the times I start feeling down about myself is when I start getting overwhelmed with my own expectations of what I should be able to accomplish.

I find this season of life to be so precious and so consuming at the same time. Every day is full of both exciting new discoveries and the most mundane chores (like cleaning up the table and high chair after three meals and a couple snacks, and let's not even talk about under the table). Some days it feels like all I "accomplish" is the latter. {P.S. Feeding the fam healthy foods that will help them grow in strength and mind IS a pretty major accomplishment in itself.}

{Monchuk family selfie}

I do love to write, I love my community, and I like this little blog. Therefore, I do have the desire to continue what I started on saskmom.com. But, I need to let go of the negative self-talk that I have allowed to creep in when my expectations for myself go unmet. Loving my family and myself means that everything else can simply fall away or fall in line behind our family's priorities.

So, I make no promises here about when or what I will write for now. I still hold a glimmer of hope that I will be able to manage my time and this blog perfectly. But, until that day that may never come, I will do what I can when I can and will be paralyzed no longer by the fear of failing to be perfect at it.

Any other procrastinating perfectionists out there? What are YOU waiting for? 

Oh, and isn't she sweet?

{One of hundreds of pics I have taken of our sweet rainbow}