While at times it seems like yesterday that I was trying to train myself to say he was six months old, it seems a lifetime ago that he was a newborn. How far we have come since then!
I survived the first four weeks of crying every day (me not him), mourning my less-than-perfect birth experience, isolating hour-long nursing episodes 12 times a day, plugged ducts, poop-up-the-back, flying poop, baseball-sized constipated poop, starting (and subsequently ending) every adult conversation talking about poop, and doubting my motherly instincts.
A year later, the birth experience is fading in memory. I have healed and accepted it as the means by which to have my healthy, happy child. A year later, now that I have weaned my son, I look back and am thankful that I had the ability to nurse him. Poop is still poop, but having issues with his constipation even makes me appreciate the up-the-back moments.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, over the course of the year I have come to trust my motherly instincts. Looking at our healthy and happy boy, I can't help but be confident as a mother. What a feeling of peace and fulfillment!
So yes, things are a lot more balanced now than a year ago. I feel more like myself again, rather than a ghost of myself that paces the halls every two hours night and day. Only now I have a super-cute kid, more love than I ever could have imagined and a lot more to look forward to in the years ahead.
The growth, discovery and love that I have experienced in the last 365 days make them, by far, the most rewarding of my life.
Happy birthday, baby boy!
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